Disneyland

How predictable. A visit to California that includes a trip to Disneyland. But the truth is, I love Disneyland, Walt Disney World et al. Hell, I love all things Disney and I'm incredibly grateful for the current mania for all things Disney Princess (although my husband complains that Jasmine is not included as often as she deserves).

We visited Disneyland in October. Type A obsessive that I am, I had been planning the trip for some time. I had bought the guidebook and delved into the scary world of Disney internet forums in order to be up to date with all the relevant tips and tricks.

In an ideal world Disneyland would be a laid-back, existential kind of place where you can wander around, absorbing the magical atmosphere and going on rides as and when you please. My parents took my sister and me to Disneyland in 1989 and we tried the laid-back existential approach. Consequently, more time was spent queueing (or "in line" as they say over here) than actually having fun, a tough break for a nine year old.

Although my tolerance of queues has increased marginally since then, it's not my preferred activity so this most recent visit was planned with the precision of a military operation (except that we were appropriately equipped, obviously.)

Believe it or not, there are others out there who sufficiently share my dislike of waiting in line that they have developed algorithms (best not to ask, I think) to devise the route through a theme park that will involve minimal queueing. In short, they observe traffic flow through the park and send you away from said traffic. When I say the route, I mean THE route. There is only one approved route. All others will involve great pain and suffering (the book doesn't actually say this, but it's strongly implied).

To give the book its due, there was sufficiently less waiting in line than I remember from that early visit. And it was very satisfying to saunter smugly past a ride for which we had queued for five minutes which was now posting a sign saying "your wait from this point is 90 minutes."

Even armed with "The Perfect Route Through The Park" and all the other tips it is possible to glean, a trip to Disneyland is tiring. Or, to misquote Woody Allen, it is if you do it properly.

My overriding memory of Disneyland in 2007 is walking back to the hotel feeling exhausted. But, given that my overriding memory of the 1989 trip is spending two and a half hours queueing for Splash Mountain, that's an improvement for which I'll happily settle!